The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
