we have pet lesbian snakes
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
