It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
