and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
