do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
