WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
