so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
