It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
