last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
