I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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