yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
