Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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