ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
