this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
