I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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