She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
