im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
