The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
