Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
