i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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