Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
