I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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