I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
