i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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