I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
