so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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