There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
