It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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