i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
