Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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