are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
