the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
