So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
