How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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