I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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