Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
