so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im six kinds of drunk right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
