Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i out mim tonsoeep
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
