all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
