why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
