the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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