See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
