All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
