By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
