i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
