how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
there is glitter all over my balls
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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