stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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