if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
