I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
