She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
