We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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