Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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