Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
