despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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