he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
